Not clear cut

Living on a hill I get some pretty thick fog. And the weather lately has given more then usual



I like the old style iron lamps at our apartments on days like this

A few volts short

Aside from my sister in laws wedding, I haven't picked up my camera in almost a month. Too many things happened in November to make me want to take it out. And with the impending stresses of Christmas, I made myself figure out a few pictures last night when I couldn't sleep.



I broke light bulbs. It's fun to have an excuse to be destructive. I tried really hard to break them just right so it would still work. But no such luck. It was fun enough though.

The answer

Since I took this picture a few days ago, I've wondered what post to make with it. I set about writing different stories for different views of what the picture was saying...but now, I don't really feel like posting them.

Instead, two songs. One softer song, I had picked out this afternoon and one bruding one that now I want added.

How Can I Live Without Her
I know she'll never understand
I gave my word before we met, so I just can't go breaking it
She'll say she thinks I'm out of touch
I've let my duty, honorbound, come between the love we've found

How can I live without her...when she's all I'm livin' for? (I'm livin'
for)
How can I live without her...live like I did before?
Now I can see, through her eyes how good love could be...
How can I live without her, when she's gone?

No matter what the future brings, I'll hold the memories in my heart
No matter how long we're apart.
She'll always be the only one
Her name forever on my lips, she's slipping through my fingertips.

How can I live without her...when she's all I'm livin' for?
I'm livin' for...
How can I live without her...live like I did before?
Now I can see, through her eyes how good love could be...
How can I live without her, when she's gone?

How can I live without her?
How can I live without her?
How can I live without her, when she's gone?
How can I live without her, when she's gone?
She's all I'm livin' for...She's all I'm living for...
How can I live without her?
How can I live like I did before?

How can I live without her?



Sometime's It Hurts
Six o'clock in the morning, my head is ready to explode..I can't believe I made it home alive
I don't remember where I went, or what I was drinking
And now it's made me sick, and I'm not denying that I get this way, when I try to get over you
I get this way, when I try to get over you

Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...
Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...

I tried so hard to hate you, but it only makes it all worse...I only end up hating myself
And as my hatred grows so do the lies, it's hard to face the truth sometimes
God I feel so useless
God I hate myself...when I try to get over you
I hate myself...will I ever get over you

Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...
Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...

And after all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel
But no...
I only think about myself
And it's driving you away, I always knew it would one day

Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...
Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...
Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...
Sometimes it hurts, so much to lose the one you love...

If you don't get it...then any other words won't help.

The rest of 'em

I totally slacked and didn't get the rest of my Sunriver pictures posted. So really quickly. We went to the Obsidian Flow and hiked up to the top while it sort of snowed. We each threw a couple of snow/ice balls.



The cool rocks were plenty fun to check out. Finding cool paterns and colors



Very cool wind blow trees and a bench to rest on, if only they had a bathroom. A little voice made me realize how far away the restroom actually was...





This shows how fast the weather changed while we were walking around up top.



I tried out some HDR shots of mom, just liked the regular shots better...she went orange in HDR heheh.



There was a horse camp down the road, with the best view of Paulina Peak. While we had been at Obsidian Flow, it of course had just hid behind the clouds. Coming out as we got back down to the parking lot. But I liked this view better anyway.



Then we drove up the back side of Paulina Peak, Yeti saw snow and I drove as long as I could. Just not too happy to traipse off in snow just yet. But hey, we saw snow so it was all worth it.



Then we saw a sign for Paulina Falls, sort of figured it would be just a little trickle thing. But no, totally wrong. Was really pretty and plenty impressive for the 1 minute walk to it.



Mom and Pria posing for a shot while we waited for Papa.




These are more of the deer we ran into lots...

Momma and three babies, very curious about our apples and carrots.



The two little bucks that were sparring off and on



I'm pretty sure that's all the pictures...I'll work on getting the videos done and up in the mean time.

Spookies

Aah, Halloween time and I must play Tim Curry. So enjoy the pumpkins.

Pria and I carved this little guy.




And she also wanted the bat..



I wanted a double one again this year and did this guy on the front...



this one that back.



I need a better wall outside so it will reflect more next time.

This guy...was my big one. Took me 3 hours to come up with a sketch...



Then came cleaning and prep, which was forever. It was a seriously thick pumpkin. I spent an hour just thinning it out. Now when I made the picture...I didn't envision the problems of what millions of little poke hole really close together would be like. So I had to recut them with the knife and then flower them, so I could actually tell where the lines where supposed to be going.



I cut and cut and cut, for hours. Not kidding. Surprisingly I didn't cut myself once...



Just in time for Halloween it was done.



Was worth it to me. I like having cool pumpkins. Never have any other decorations up...but my pumpkins are enough for me.

Flick and Twitch

All pictures have meaning behind it, good and bad. I won't tell you the difference, if you have to be told...you missed the point.



It's not meant to shun away curiosity about me. On the contrary. I like curious prodding. I live my life constantly curious about everything else. I satisfied one curiosity to obtain this picture.



It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Ripping apart an old hard drive has a measure of destructive nature (especially since it was partially fused to the case and I had to actually rip it apart) part simplistic beauty and part childhood fantasy. I will never grow out of my fascination of taking something apart.



By the end of taking pictures and editing them. . .my mood has changed a few times, at least. It takes a normal progression through them all sometimes repeating a few. Mostly it harbors around resentment, confusion, anger, passion and reality. I know reality isn't a mood, but again...for me it is. The bottom line becomes that the pictures are the easy attempt at a far more conflicted desire to be ostentatious as my true self.

Day one...

I'm slowly trying to catch up with posting of pictures that are badly back logged. The most recent is my trip to Sunriver with Pria to hang out with Mom and Dad for a week.



We got there in good time and had most of the afternoon to go for a walk, Pria took full advantage of having two extra people to answer her endless questions. Learning all about pinecones and how trees grow. I didn't feel too bad about her missing 2 days of preschool for the trip, she learned a bit more then her class did.

It was fun to be back there, it is vastly different from being buried under 3 feet of snow like when I was last there. But I had a hard time remembering how it was when I was a kid there...I swear the place was a lot bigger back then.



I was slighlty confused at this sight...I really don't think I've seen a pine tree change colors, and in fact I swore they didn't. It was pretty in orange, either way...but head scratcher thought for sure.



We walked to town and around throughout the stores, me grabbing a bite to eat and happily resting for a bit. Pria ate most of my food, little hungry thing she's turned into lately. Sneaky little hands grabbing my turkey and leaving me with just crackers. After my break we headed back off to find some deer. Pria had heard about them the whole time I was driving, and Nana had got her interest further perked. But those darned things were tricky to find at first.



We found a little group eventually and of course were unprepared with no apples to keep their interest in us, but Pria was happy to see them.



We were told by Pria and Nana we needed to yell out our names in the tunnel. Didn't have much of an echo, but I'm sure we scared whatever deer were planning on walking towards us. It was right about here I asked the question of which way home was..."Oh a few miles" a few more feet and my dad's portable pharmacy was indeed needed and how. Thus began the fun task of getting back to the house quick.

Instead of making a massive post for the whole week, I'll end it here and pick up in a few with the rest of the week.

3Fe3 O4+8A1--->4A12 O3+9Fe

In computer graphics and photography, high dynamic range imaging (HDRI) is a set of techniques that allows a far greater dynamic range of exposures (i.e. a large range of values between light and dark areas) than normal digital imaging techniques. The intention of HDRI is to accurately represent the wide range of intensity levels found in real scenes ranging from direct sunlight to the deepest shadows.

Well I'm not a wiz at much, but I like what you can get out of HDR photos. So after being able to "aquire" the software I decided to give it a shot. Now the choice of where to go was some what nerve racking. Fall is sort of here, sort of over...and not even starting. Just depeneds on where you go and where you look. I wanted to head back up the gorge and retake some of my waterfall pictures, but I really wanted to have the full fall effect going. Dugan Falls came in from nowhere. Fairly close to home and generally deserted outside of the few hot weeks we get. So we packed up and off we went...these aren't the best, but they show off what HDR can do. But honestly search on flickr for HDR and you will see some mind blowing color tones...one day maybe I can get them to look like that. But for my first tries I am mildly proud of myself.



I mostly just focused on the water for these, since it is crystal clear and always look amazing from the bridge.



This is the top pool and really beautiful. I don't think this image does it true justice beacause it has a lot more detail in the red tones that I couldn't get to come out right.



This is probably one of my favorties because you can see the clouds a lot more then I could when I took it. The are omonous here...there they were just sort of blah.



I was pleasantly suprised at the results of this one. The prelim viewing was...so not happy but after tone mapping it just all popped into place.



Thought I'd end with a classic shot of Dugan Falls. It reminds me of a painting, with the water so luminesent and soft. Not the effect I was intending on having but not sad that it's there.

Entrance

My devotion to insomnia. Too much gone unsaid in my head for me to sleep anymore. Writing, pictures and music. A return to blogging was inevitable. A perfect song to fit an unperfect mood and a picture that links them both. Better or worst, I'm back to do what I do.


Over there stands my angry angel and hes shaking his head, in disgrace with me. Over there stands my angry angel and hes frowning like hell, but i'm not feeling guilty

Farewell for now

I had a miscarriage.

Tomorrow I have a DNC.

Beyond that...I don't know.

I'm sorry, but I can't blog right now.

I just don't have the will to try to do much of anything.

I just want to lay in bed and...just be somewhere else.

If I have your email and can contact you that way, I will. For now no more posts or pictures here or Just Us.

Angie

An easy present

When you ask a child what they want for their birthday, I doubt many of them will ask to have their picture taken. But that's one of the things Pria wanted, dancing all night was another one. Popped on some new music while I snapped a few pictures and made an evening of it for her.

Happy 4th munch.

To the point

Summer. It's nice.

The process of thought, sorry you actually have to do it yourself...

A while back I was tagged by Dana for a Thinking Blogger Award Apparently I make her think. Always figured this blog was a bit on the crazy side to make people think in good ways...but yay? Never really knew what to do with this, seeing as I don't go to many other blogs. I still prefer an unplugged world I guess.

According to the rules

A: If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
B: Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
C: Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

She tagged the only other blogs I go to, but...I didn't see a rule about not tagging the same person twice.

Christy - Ok, supermom over there's got 4 kids and I swear I'd go crazy in her life after a few hours. She not only manages it with ease (ok that might be a stretch) but also finds really amazing recipes.

Christy's Cooking - It's a separate blog, so it gets a separate award. I miss her cooking. She totally makes me think about new ways to make food.

Liz & Patrick - The queen of lists and of finding anything fun to keep your kids entertained with and her very funny and talented hubby. If you haven't read some of their posts...do.

I may be breaking from tradition here, but I'm also posting people that make me think. They don't do the blogging world, but if they did I think they'd be awesome.



Dad - I love my dad's sense of humor, it's like mine. He's always emailing me something odd or thought provoking from somewhere in the world. A picture of 800 naked women in Australia got my Friday off definite inquisitive start.



Rhyce - My more feminine, twin buddy from Perth. He's got good ramblings, a very silly personality and amazing to talk to for hours. He is my favorite bad carrot.

L.O.S.S

I'm at a loss. A Lack Of Substantial Stimulation.

I have come to realize that my pictures rely on a delicate balance of misery and enjoyment.

I'm numb and empty.

I can't take pictures when I'm like this.

Baby I'll... try again, try again
Baby I die... every night, every time

What I was, isn't what I am
I'd change back but I don't know if I can

Still I'll try... try again, try again
Baby I die... every night, every time

Forget the 4th, give me a 5th...and leave the bottle

My mother better appreciate me putting Neil "gag-me" Diamond on my blog....

4Th of July. Guess it's a big holiday here...

Dogs are grilled and cows are killed, beer is sold and...okay i rhymed and don't wanna.

But yeah it's the 4Th. Or it was the 4Th...on the 4Th actually is when it was. We did our patriotic duty and bought explosives, only the legal kind though. We went to the river and waited (for 3+ hours) for the big explosives to go off.

As the sunset we all (the entire US I'm sure) took to our lighters (shotguns as well) and frightened all manner of animals and livestock.

I being who I am, having slight pyro streak in me. This is sort of my holiday. I joined the other insane people in annoying parents, and scaring people within the debris field by the reach of my sparks.

After some rather insistent persuading by my "supportive" crowd, I packed up my lighter and tinkered with my camera.



This was one of many people next to us. Responsible they were not. They set the grass on fire, I personally saw 5 times. They let their kids (i was guessing between 6-10) purposely set the grass on fire. Honestly some people...just deserve the stereotypes they get.




This was one of the few fountains they did that didn't set the grass on fire. I was happy about that, since I was in the grass taking the picture.



The people on the house boats gave us a nice show while we waited. It was nice to see all of the aerial fireworks going off in Washington. I'm sure the Oregonians, were plenty jealous. I broke out my lighter for a few more of our aerial shots in watching them. My license still says Washington, so I'm not giving up my cool fireworks for the silly fountains just yet



At around...10:20 at night Fort Vancouver set off the first firework. All the people settled into their chairs and we watched thousands upon thousands of dollars be burnt up inside of an hour.



Within a few seconds it became apparent that I hate holiday's. One, other people rarely share my view or respect of them. Two, they are way too stressful for my liking.



I did enjoy the fireworks, you can't be a pyro and not appreciate explosions in mid air. But...mass murder was so close to happening.



A group of adults to our right, would not shut up. It wasn't even relevant topics. It was about...well, crap honestly. Just idle chatting and catching up talking. There is an awesome display going on and I don't want to hear about The guy who changed your copier toner wrong.



Doing my best to ignore the talking people, I realized that common decency also had gone out the window. Now I realize that we are all set up on a walking path. It's either there or in the river. Not much of a choice.



But really with my camera on a tripod, with the "big-ass lens" out, I'm not blending in. Still every mother's son and dog decided now of all times that they needed to be walking by. Was there an "excuse us" or "..ooh sorry". Nope.



Now I can handle some rudeness, I am American after all. It's our motto. And our Nations holiday, should bring it out with patriotic pride. But come on...when someone sees me taking pictures, see my camera, comments on it to their friends...and still walks in front of me. Second Amendment, here I come.



Now, I am not saying I let it ruin my holiday. Cause I didn't let it, it did it without asking. But it was a great show, as always from the pyro people. It never ceases to amaze me how they get fireworks to...do...what they do. Shapes and patterns, colors and sound effects, if only all weapons of war could end up that pretty.



Shortly after this picture a small group of people...you guessed it walked in front of me. But this time they stopped and watched the firework I was trying to frame. That was it to me. I looked at Chris and shut the camera off. I sat back, devoured my bag of popcorn and sent bad thoughts to the people still talking after almost an hour. I totally don't blame the guy that messed up the copier, I'm sure this schmuck deserved it.

As the finale burst out I made a solemn decision. My camera does not come out next year, unless we go to the fort. It's not worth it to me anymore. I love this holiday, since it is the biggest thing we do here. But people don't care anymore, at least not the casual ones we seem to meet. So next year, it's to the fort with the other devotees of the holiday or far far away.

God bless you land of America. You've fallen further then you think.